What if the greatest gift you could give your children was not money, not comfort, but the ability to handle anything life throws at them?
That is the question I explored with Scott Donnell and Jimmie Jayes, two of the most passionate advocates for family legacy and intentional parenting I know.
Scott is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author who has built and sold multiple companies while staying deeply committed to his role as a father.
Jimmie is a serial entrepreneur, coach, and speaker who has dedicated his career to helping families build lasting legacies.
Together, they run a program called Raise Legacy Builders that teaches parents how to have more impactful conversations with their children and raise kids who can thrive in any situation.
I have known Jimmie for years, and he was one of the people who inspired me to move my family to a new community.
Before my first son was even born, Jimmie recommended a book called The First National Bank of Dad, and that planted the seed for how I think about teaching children financial responsibility and independence.
When Success Does Not Equal Presence
Scott shared a powerful story about a turning point in his life that every entrepreneur can relate to.
He had just spoken on stage in front of 17,000 people and was riding a wave of professional success.
Then he came home and tried to spend time with his son at the pool.
“I got to close the locker door with my phone in it. And I close the door. My phone is still in my hand. And I proceeded to spend the next 30 minutes with my son, but not with my son at all. Because I was thinking about all this business stuff.”
That moment hit him hard.
He realized the whole reason he built his businesses was to be a present father, yet he was failing at the very thing he valued most.
Scott asked himself a question that changed everything: “If time and money weren’t a thing, what would you do?”
His answer was simple: be a really great dad.
That clarity led him to reshape his priorities and eventually dedicate his life to helping other parents do the same.
If you have ever felt the tension between building your career and being fully present for your family, I encourage you to read my conversation with Ryan Herpin about mastering work-life rhythm.
Jimmie’s Wake-Up Call as a Father
Jimmie had a similar moment of reckoning.
He remembered starting his entrepreneurial journey before he even had kids, and someone asked him what he would do if time and money were not obstacles.
His immediate answer was also about being a great father.
“Here I am supposed to be at the top of the business world, and now I’m back home and I’m supposed to be spending time with my son and instead I’ve got anxiety.”
That realization set Jimmie on a path to study what the most successful families in the world actually do differently when it comes to raising their children.
It was not about more money or more stuff.
It was about intentional time, meaningful conversations, and giving kids the chance to struggle in healthy ways.
The Four Forces Working Against Modern Families
Scott and Jimmie have identified four major forces that make parenting harder today than ever before.
“There are four forces working against modern families, and if you don’t name them, you can’t fight them. Awareness is the first step to building a family that thrives under pressure.”
Jimmie Jayes
The first is dopamine distortion.
Kids are constantly bombarded with screens, social media, and instant gratification that rewires how their brains process rewards.
The second is anti-family culture.
Modern society often prioritizes individual achievement over family connection, making it easy for parents to justify spending less time at home.
The third is instant gratification.
Children grow up expecting everything to come quickly and easily, which erodes the resilience they need to handle adversity.
The fourth is the AI revolution.
As technology accelerates, the skills kids need to succeed are changing faster than most educational systems can keep up with.
Jimmie put it this way: “We are living in a world now with more external noise than any generation has ever faced. And it is pulling families apart if they are not intentional about pulling together.”
Understanding these forces is the first step toward building a family environment where your kids can grow strong despite the challenges around them.
Why Healthy Struggle Builds Stronger Kids
One of the biggest takeaways from our conversation was the concept of healthy struggle.
“Healthy struggle builds stronger kids. When we remove every obstacle from our children’s path, we rob them of the resilience they need to handle real life.”
Scott Donnell
Scott explained that many parents, especially high-achieving entrepreneurs, are tempted to remove every obstacle from their children’s path.
But shielding kids from all difficulty actually weakens them.
“You can’t breathe life into your spouse or your kids if you’re always out of breath. We trick ourselves into thinking that pedaling harder on the bike gets us everything we want. But we just end up exhausted all the time.”
The wealthiest and most successful families Scott and Jimmie have studied all share one thing in common: they allow their children to experience age-appropriate challenges.
Those struggles teach kids problem-solving, perseverance, and the confidence that comes from knowing they can handle hard things.
This connects directly to what I discussed with Dana Weinberger about strengthening family bonds through intentional connection.
The Power of Dinner Table Conversations
Scott made a point that stuck with me: real education does not happen at a desk.
It happens around the dinner table and at home.
“The education doesn’t happen at a desk. It happens around the dinner table. It happens at home. You are not the one that outsources your legacy.”
Scott and Jimmie encourage parents to use mealtime as an opportunity for real, meaningful conversations.
Ask your kids what they struggled with that day.
Ask them what they learned from a failure.
Create space for them to share openly without judgment.
These small daily habits compound over time into a family culture where children feel safe, seen, and capable.
Building a Legacy That Goes Beyond Money
What I admire most about Scott and Jimmie is their clarity on what legacy actually means.
“Building a legacy that goes beyond money starts at the dinner table. The conversations you have with your kids today shape the leaders they become tomorrow.”
Scott Donnell
It is not about the size of your bank account or the number of properties you own.
Legacy is about the values, skills, and confidence you pass on to the next generation.
Jimmie shared that the families who build the strongest legacies are the ones who “give their kids roots and wings to soar and create an incredible legacy” by teaching them responsibility, resilience, and purpose from a young age.
If you are interested in thinking more deeply about what wealth really means beyond dollars, my conversation with Dave Wolcott explores a holistic approach to success that aligns perfectly with what Scott and Jimmie teach.
Key Takeaways
- Professional success means nothing if you are not present for your family. Be intentional about putting the phone away and showing up fully.
- Four major forces threaten modern families: dopamine distortion, anti-family culture, instant gratification, and the AI revolution. Awareness is the first defense.
- Healthy struggle builds stronger kids. Resist the urge to remove every obstacle and instead let your children develop problem-solving skills through age-appropriate challenges.
- Use dinner table conversations as a daily practice to connect with your children and teach them to process challenges openly.
- True legacy is not financial. It is the values, confidence, and resilience you build into the next generation.
Raising resilient kids is one of the most important investments you will ever make, and it starts with the daily choices you make as a parent.
If this conversation resonated with you and you want to learn more about building a balanced, purpose-driven life, I would love to connect. Visit coachcanfield.com and let’s start a conversation about what matters most to you.
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